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It’s Okay To Lose Friends In Your 20’s!

Nobody prepares you for growing up, we all wish there was a guide of what to expect when we reach adulthood but unfortunately we just have to try to figure it out for ourselves! The main thing I wish I was prepared for was losing my friends one at a time. I found that as soon as I hit my twenties my friends started dropping one by one, though I have learned that this is okay. Here are reasons why we lose friends in our twenties!

 

It’s okay to only have a few friends.

I have found that friendship is like writing an essay, it’s quality over quantity. Though you find people look for the quantity it is better to cut it down to having just the people in your life who are good quality. As you reach your twenties you find that you are now able to count your friends on your one hand. This is okay!

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It’s okay to have a wider friendship group.

Though you are now able to count your friends on one hand, you may find that these do not all gather into one friendship group. One may fall into old school friends, whilst another falls into your current work friends. This is fine, this means that you are still able to have a busier social calendar without having to hang around with ‘fake’ friends.

You lose friends the hard way.

When your in school you tend to have arguments and fall outs, whereas when you turn into an adult you end up realising that you lose friends the hard way. When you leave school, keeping friends requires a lot more effort as you are not going to be seeing each other on a daily basis. This is when you come to realise who your true friends are and usually you find it’s the people closest to you that put the least amount of effort!

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People just tend to change.

Even though we don’t want to believe it. people change as they grow older and sometimes it’s not always for the better. This usually means the people we are closest to turn into people we no longer want to know. This does not mean that the people we used to love are still there, they have just grow up and matured in a different way to you.

Stop holding onto old friendship.

I always found this the hardest because your old friendships tend to be people you have known and loved for the longest, but those text messages you send to each other once a month telling each other how much you miss one another and should meet up, tend to be sent because you feel they have too and not because you really want to. So sometimes it’s best to just drift apart without any bad blood between you.

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Old friends become very jealous.

Don’t let your oldest friend make you feel as if you cannot make new friends. For them it tends to be okay to have a million friends and hang out with anybody and everybody but then they tend to HATE you hanging around with people when they are not there. Don’t think  that you then have to make your old friends and new friends hang out together, sometimes you just need to let them get over it and realise that you are allowed to hang out with other people.

Some friendships require more effort than others.

This one is a tough one, we always think it is easy to keep friendships but sometimes it is easier with some people than others. Don’t think that because you have to make a little more effort with some friends that you should cut them out of your life. This is not true, some people tend to have busier lives then other and can’t always put you at the top of their priorities list. Sometimes you need to be the one to make the effort first!

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You can make new friends even though your an adult.

Currently my closest friendships were formed in my twenties. Just because your now classed as an adult doesn’t mean that you can’t go out and make new friends, sometimes this is when you find the people you can trust most and have also had bad experiences with friends.



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14 Comments

  • Reply Karina

    I can really relate to this topic. Thanks for sharing this post. I look forward to reading your upcoming posts 🙂

    December 5, 2016 at 11:32 pm
  • Reply Ashlee

    Ahhhhhhh! I loved this one – it resonates with me so much. I’ve lost about 3 people I loved loads this year, it’s been quite difficult but I’ve learnt it’s life and the people I have in my life now are truly amazing! I’ve met a couple incredible people in the last few months which just shows, it’s not the length of time you’ve know someone that makes them a great friend. I’m inspired to do a post on this topic (:

    December 27, 2016 at 1:58 pm
  • Reply Rosa

    I love this post. I think the most important point is that people change. Sometimes not even in a bad way… you just start to realise that you haven’t got any interests or views in common anymore.

    http://ohduckydarling.com

    December 31, 2016 at 3:48 pm
  • Reply Tina

    Great post and so true! I’ve definitely been experiencing this throughout my 20s. It’s a shame but as you, you end up with a good bunch xx

    January 11, 2017 at 2:32 pm
  • Reply Nicole

    I love this. It sucks growing up but you just have to face it and realise that smoetimes you don’t actually have anything interesting to talk about with some people and others you just don’t really like. I’ve drifted from so many people since leaving school, only keeping in contact with about one person, but like you say – quality over quantity! Great post!x

    January 12, 2017 at 10:52 am
  • Reply Lisa Smyth

    I completely agree with this. I now have around 5 people that I class as my best friends and others that are literally just colleagues, acquaintances and drinking buddies. I have had lots of friends come into my life then disappear over the last few years but looking back everything has worked out. Why keep holding out for people that don’t make an effort with you?! xxx

    January 18, 2017 at 4:47 pm
  • Reply Melissa Marshall

    I really enjoyed this post. I think when you lose friends in your 20’s you think its this really important deal and that you must have done something really wrong for them to not be your friend but really it mostly down to life and you can’t stop that. I lost a lot of my friends when they started families and I decided to do and travel. I think its just a part of growing up and learning that it is about quality over quantity and its not a bad thing. 🙂

    Great Post x

    http://www.thegirlandthetreadmill.co.uk

    January 20, 2017 at 1:27 pm
  • Reply alisha

    The transition from High School to University cost me a lot of friends just because we went seperate ways and now were leading very different lives. And even though I made a lot of new friends in Uni, it wasn’t easy to let go of the old ones. Thanks for putting this post out there! It’s all a totally normal part of life! x

    Alisha | alishaspinkdaisies.com

    January 21, 2017 at 8:12 pm
  • Reply Tamzin

    This is so true. It’s sad knowing you can’t be friends forever with some of your oldest friends but true that everyone matures differently! Xx

    Tamz | http://www.throughneweyesx.com

    February 18, 2017 at 8:21 am
  • Reply Victoria

    Such a well thought out, relatable post! It’s all about quality over quantity – there’s also nothing better than friends who don’t pressure you into having to see them all the time, and when you do see each other it’s as if you hung out the day before!

    April 18, 2017 at 1:04 pm
  • Reply Beth

    Great post! Needed to hear this xxxx

    May 2, 2017 at 8:24 am
  • Reply Grace

    Great post! It really spoke to me. I’ve experienced this since I graduated from university a few years ago and it used to make me really sad. Sometimes you just have to let old friends go to let new friends come into your life although I find it’s really hard to make solid friendships too at this age now.

    May 2, 2017 at 8:46 am
  • Reply Emily

    Such a good read! I still speak to most of my school friends but don’t speak regularly to them – nice to see that I’m not the only one!

    November 1, 2017 at 4:01 pm
  • Reply Megan

    Being 23 and currently in that strange time after uni and in between new jobs, relocating and new relationships this is 100% relatable!

    November 9, 2017 at 12:17 pm
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