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Dear Teens, Perfect Does Not Exist…

One of my most popular posts is ‘My letter to my teenage self‘ and decided instead of writing a letter to myself again, I would write it to current teenagers.

 

 

Dear Teens,

At the moment you are all feeling a lot of pressure, whether it’s from your parents, your teachers or your friends, but most of all you are feeling pressure to become this ‘perfect’ person that is being broadcast everywhere you look. You are living in a world full of technology and social media, which means you are living in a world where you spend your time scrolling through pictures of celebrities and models.

First things first, those models do not look the way you think they do! Those pictures you see all over their Instagram and on the front of magazines, they do not exist! Those pictures have been edited to make it seem like they are ‘perfect’. Have a look at the pictures of Kylie Jenner on her Instagram, her face has been airbrushed, she’s used a special selfie light and has had a glam squad get her photo ready. Not just that, she has had work done!

Those fitness models you follow, yes they have an incredible body but just remember that it is their job. They get paid to train all day and eat healthy food to ensure they have low body fat. You are not going to have the body that they do, for starters you are still a teenager which means your body is still developing which means that it is constantly changing. Secondly, you have not got time to prepare and eat the way that they do!

You think that you need to become this beautiful person in order to fit or get the attention of somebody else. But, have you ever stopped and wondered what the definition of beautiful actually is? Everybody has their own definition of beautiful, some may look at person and decide whether they are beautiful because of the way they look. Others may look at somebody and are not able to decide what beautiful is until they get to know a person. Don’t worry about looking ‘perfect’ or ‘beautiful’ because that person does not exist unless you have a beautiful personality to match it!

When I was a teen I wanted to be this definition of ‘perfect’. I would spend my time looking in the mirror and hating myself. I would avoid breakfast, I would eat as little as possible because I wanted to look like the girls on the television. But one thing that I can tell you, I was not happy with myself, I hated myself more because the person I was looking at in the mirror was my enemy. I hated being the person that I was. People could tell that my body was slimmer than before but to me it seemed to be getting bigger. You are your own worst enemy, it took a boy to show me what I was doing to myself and teach me to love myself the way that I was. I hate that it took another person to show me I could be happy in myself and that I didn’t look like those people on the television because I wasn’t those people on the television.

Please stop looking at those people on the screens, they are not you! They are not perfect! You are! Learn to love yourself and stop looking in the mirror, because that person staring back at you isn’t going to tell you what you want to hear unless you can learn to accept yourself first!

 

Much Love,

A-xo

 

[Photo credit: Tumblr+Vogue]

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24 Comments

  • Reply Charlene McElhinney

    This post is so so so so important and well written. Kylie Jenner’s instagram photos set such a high expectation and put so much pressure on young girls – you’re so right! It’s very important to speak out about these kind of things so well done darling. And this will definitely help someone feel a bit better chick. Thank you for this!

    March 19, 2017 at 8:10 pm
  • Reply Charlie

    This post is gonna help a lot of people, I loved it, so so real 🙌🏻❤

    March 19, 2017 at 8:16 pm
  • Reply Kirsty

    Great letter! I cannot imagine how hard it must be to be a teenager these days, when myself as an “adult” I sometimes feel so bad about myself thanks to social media! Hope a lot of people read this post 🙂

    Kirsty
    http://www.corinneandkirsty.com

    March 19, 2017 at 8:26 pm
  • Reply Kimmy

    I love this too much! I once done a presentation at college on the effects of airbrushing on young minds and this has reminded me of that so much. All the editing and social media photos that people see as others perfect life, body etc can really put you in a downer never mind that being put into the younger ones heads. This is really inspiring I would say, great post 🙂

    March 19, 2017 at 8:26 pm
  • Reply Robyn

    This is such an important post for all teens to read! I was so fixated on being “perfect” I let it get in the way of my happiness. A really important post.
    Robyn // http://www.midnightandlace.co.uk/

    March 19, 2017 at 8:32 pm
  • Reply Della Driscoll

    This is an incredible letter and so inspiring! Xx

    March 19, 2017 at 8:34 pm
  • Reply Cam

    So much insight! I love this:) thankyou

    March 19, 2017 at 8:35 pm
  • Reply Chelsie

    What a great post. I think I’m the current day it’s SO difficult to actually feel confident and be proud of who you are, especially because of social medias constant overwhelming weight on our shoulders. I’d have loved to have read something like this when I was younger ❤

    http://Www.atartanrose.com

    X

    March 19, 2017 at 8:36 pm
  • Reply Lizzie Bee

    This is so important! I always get bogged down by how people look so perfect on instagram (perfect hair, perfect makeup, and perfect lifes) but then I realise that they’re only showing their good days, and I have no idea what their everyday life is like. Who knows, they might be just as normal as I am!

    March 19, 2017 at 8:40 pm
  • Reply Abi

    This is such a lovely post! My teenage years were some of my hardest, so definitely glad to leave them behind!

    March 19, 2017 at 8:42 pm
  • Reply Penny

    I often wonder what I would tell me teenage self, especially as my teens are decades behind me. It’s a funny time where we seem to be finding ourselves and there are so many expectations. You’re right – no such thing as perfect, it’s pointless chasing it!

    March 19, 2017 at 8:43 pm
  • Reply Jen

    I love this and wish I read this as a teen! As much as I enjoyed my teens I tend to forget the harder times. Though I’m now in my 30s I think it’s a great message to hear at any time. Thanks for posting this.
    XX Jen

    March 19, 2017 at 8:43 pm
  • Reply Alicia

    I recently did a post similar to this (except it was more of a rant opposed to a letter) but I feel like teens are being forced to grow up too fast since social media is so easily accessible nowadays.
    Alicia x
    http://www.aestheticobsessed.co.uk

    March 19, 2017 at 9:01 pm
  • Reply bryony

    this is such a good post, i’m in the last year of my teens at the moment and i can relate to some of these things from when i was younger, like models on instagram thinking you’ve got to look like them etc

    March 19, 2017 at 9:27 pm
  • Reply Britt K

    I wish someone could have taught me this very lesson as a teenager. After years of hating on myself, and some quality time in treatment for an eating disorder, I have now learned the value of self love as well as finding someone who sees you for more than just what you look like. I hope that this post reaches even just a few teens that really need someone to get that nudge in the right direction <3

    March 19, 2017 at 11:19 pm
  • Reply Harminder

    Wow…you just brought a beautiful message which is worth more than any currency. Look forward to read more.

    March 20, 2017 at 7:51 am
  • Reply Bobbi

    Thank you for writing this post and being so honest. I completely relate to “I hated myself more because the person I was looking at in the mirror was my enemy.” I feel like nearly every girl struggles with this feeling at some point, which is why it’s so important to talk about it and take the pressure off of ourselves. Thanks again for sharing! Happy to be a new reader of your blog. 🙂

    xo
    Bobbi
    https://bobbihearts.blogspot.com/

    March 20, 2017 at 5:45 pm
  • Reply Shakira

    Love this post, such an important message! Thanks so much for writing and sharing it!

    SHAKIRA / SHAKIRA SACKS

    March 21, 2017 at 9:05 am
  • Reply Onyinyechi

    Nice post! Not only Kylie Jenner. I personally feel that since the advent of Instagram, the pressure to be perfect has increased a thousand fold. Our teenagers, and even adults need to consciously remind themselves that all that glitters is never gold.

    True perfection comes only from true happiness within.

    Endi’s World http://www.onyixtus.com

    March 22, 2017 at 7:09 pm
  • Reply Leigh

    This is so true! I wish more young girls understood this!
    Love Leigh
    Loveleighsays.wordpress.com

    March 22, 2017 at 9:34 pm
  • Reply Rosa

    Loved this post. It got me thinking though about the pressure of having a beautiful personality. A lot of the time, I find that everyone wants me to be the perfect person personality wise and I just can’t be that.

    March 23, 2017 at 7:55 pm
  • Reply Ellie

    This is such an important post! I as a teenager myself totally understood what you were saying and it kinda changed my perspective on a few things! It’s so important to promote positive body image and I think this post has highlighted a lot of the issues. Keep up the good work 🙂
    Ellie
    http://www.headintheclouds.me.uk

    March 24, 2017 at 7:40 pm
  • Reply Kate

    Brilliant post, love your style of writing here too. This is such an important topic and pleased you addressed it here. I totally agree that people’s definitions of beautiful are all different. I feel quite fortunate that I was born before the internet evolved to where it is now, because we weren’t exposed to so much. I can’t begin to imagine the amount of pressure young girls nowadays must go through with all the different social media platforms we have so there’s added pressure. Very thought provoking post, thank you for sharing your thoughts 🙂

    VioletDaffodils
    xx

    March 25, 2017 at 6:43 pm
  • Reply Sian

    Really great read. And sadly so very true. In some ways I think I’m lucky to have not gone through my teens in the age of social media. There are so many young people really hating on themselves because of it and it makes me so sad.

    Siân X
    http://www.sians-silver-linings.com

    March 26, 2017 at 2:20 pm
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